I turned 30 this year. It was a milestone I had a hard time coming to terms with, as part of me feels much younger, and yet another part feels much older (though the sum of me doesn’t feel ready to be a walking, talking adult as my new age suggests I should be).
Throughout my teens and twenties, 30 always seemed so far away. Like this distant reality in which I’d be married with kids, and/or well on my way up the corporate ladder (spoiler: I’m none of those things). And then it happens. You turn 30, and despite all the things you thought you’d be by the time you hit this defining age, you still feel the exact same as you did when you were 27, 28, or 29 — just with a few more wrinkles.
However, in my short time on this earth, I’ve learned a few valuable lessons that are worth sharing.
Some of these lessons took repeated demonstrations to get through my thick skull, others simply took one, powerful experience to drive the point home indefinitely.
As I enter my third decade on this planet, here are 30 lessons I learned on my journey to this milestone. (Brace yourself for some truth bombs…)
Note: This post took me a year to finish, so (in full transparency) I actually just turned 31, but started this post shortly after my 30th birthday
Two conversational topics to avoid like the plague: Religion and Politics.
I learned that these two topics are ones in which people will never be swayed, and therefore are best avoided at any dinner party, or social function (I would suggest you avoid posting about religious and political views on social media as well, but that’s just my opinion…).
No one likes a person who shoves their views down other peoples’ throats, and since there are so many varying standpoints associated with politics and religion it’s easy to strike a nerve, start an argument, or just look like an idiot if you try to “discuss” these topics in any kind of public setting. Therefore, it’s best to practice abstinence and just don’t go there.
Love is blind.
Oftentimes, we have rose-colored glasses when it comes to the object of our affection. Or, we’re just so deep in a situation/relationship, we’re unable to see it for what it is (good or bad). For example, put your hand right in front of your face, it makes everything look a little blurry right? When we’re so close to something (e.g. a relationship/person) we can’t see things clearly due to the proximity. However, when we take a step back (or, in this example, move your hand further away from your face), we can see things with more clarity.
That’s why we need friends and family. Sometimes it takes someone with a clear, third-party perspective, to help us see what we can’t. That said, I think a great way to determine whether or not someone loves you is to ask your closest, most trusted friends. Seriously, gather your confidants and pose the simple question: “Do you think _____ loves me (based on their actions)”. You may learn a lot.
(I don’t know about you, but after every breakup I look back and think “my friends were right / I should’ve listened”)
Be careful who you vent to… (never talk about people behind their backs).
You never really know who you can trust. Plus, not only does gossip always come back to haunt, it also makes you (the gossiper) look bad. I used to have a friend who would always talk about other friends in our group, and each time she did, I couldn’t help but think “what the hell does she say about me when I’m not around?” It was a strain on the friendship and prevented me from wanting to confide in her. Surround yourself with people who talk about ideas, not other people — this one lesson will strengthen the quality of your inner circle substantially.